Nine years ago I met someone in and IRC chat room. To this day I've never shaken his hand or looked into his eyes. Russ is my proof that relationships over the internet can be forged even with all the duplicity and ease of disguise.
The last nine years have been a windy road. There were times when the road got so twisted I couldn't see him anymore. Times when I honestly thought that our paths had crossed for the last time and as I rounded the next corner I felt certain that I would never speak with him again. There have been many times I have emotionally prepared myself to let him go for good. Everytime I end up in that place he reappears! And not only does he reappear but he sets me straight and redirects my energy. He puts a smile on my face and reignites my hope in life and in people.
Russ is one person I know that God put in my life deliberately. I sometimes feel like he is my link to God. In the sense that God sends him back into my life when he knows that I need help. Russ has always been a support when I've most needed it. He is my angel.
And he did it again this evening. Russ got married last fall. This was another one of those moments where I prepared myself to say good-bye. Well not officially but I just thought that with his new responsibilities as a husband that there was no longer a place for our friendship. I was ready to let it all go because I knew that he is all right and he is happy. I felt ok about doing it. I felt like it was just another curve in the road, another reality of life.
But tonight he messaged me. Tonight I was sad. In two short paragraphs he made it all better. He told me that he had started writing in the notebook I sent him for Christmas a few years ago. Making notes for his novel that he has always wanted to write. The first thing he wrote into his notebook was this:
"Lucy was someone who always saw the best in me...even though she lived a thousand miles away and had not once looked upon my face in the nine years that I had known her. Our relationship had started in an internet chat room on just another uneventful Friday night in a college dorm. Just another product of my oft recurring unsociable temperament, while most of my peers were partying and mingling...I was talking about my life to a Canadian girl through my keyboard and computer monitor.
But then again, I never was very familiar with doing things the practical way."
I couldn't explain the feeling when I read it. I was so touched I almost cried. I didn't honestly know that I meant something to him. I mean we've never met. And we haven't talked in ages! Here he was telling me I was important to him because no matter what I'd always believed in him. I was so surprised. I honestly didn't feel like I'd ever made that much of an impact. He made me feel better. I felt like at least I've done some good. He isn't always around but when he shows up he always leaves me better off than when he arrived.
I am blessed even if I don't see it most of the time.
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